Let’s be real. When we’re in our 20’s and technically considered “adults”, we endure a lot of hardships that come with trying to communicate with our parents. There are a lot of things that they just don’t understand about us. Let me see if I can clear some of these things up.
1. Not Showing Gratitude All the Time:
Even if we don’t say “thank you” all the time, it doesn’t mean that we don’t really appreciate you. It could just mean that we’re thinking about work, our current relationship, or friendships. But deep down, we understand that you gave us lives. We thank you for that just by making our own decisions.
2. Over Exaggerating Our Desires:
If we’re living with you and we say that we want to move out, that doesn’t mean that we want you out of our lives. We know what it’s like to want to hold on SO TIGHT to something, but when we’re smothered by it, we need to loosen our grip. Remember, that’s not the same as letting it go.
3. Saying ‘No’ to You (A Lot):
If we say no to your lifestyle choices, it doesn’t mean that you didn’t raise us well. During our grade school years, we probably loved staying out all night with you and doing EVERYTHING that you did. Even now, we might still enjoy a lot of these things. But now that we’re in our 20’s, we figured out that there are some things we just don’t like anymore. Things always change.
4. Randomly Talking about a Parent We Have Conflicts with…or a Parent We Lost:
If there’s stress between you and our other parent, we’re stressed out, too. If you’re divorced or widowed, we hurt just as much as you do. If years pass and we still talk about what he/she would do or what he/she “should have done”, we want you to listen.
We want you to understand how that parent had (and still has) an impact on us. Depending on the situation, we may not have gotten to express our emotions to that parent. We might never get a chance to.
When we cry or yell at you, it means that we’re going through a really hard time. We know that you’re facing hard emotions, too. We need you just as much as you need us.
5. Communicating with Younger Siblings Like They’re our Best Friends:
If we live with you, we’ll obviously talk to each other sometime. Just the same, we’ll talk to our siblings. Even if we started fighting with them after coming home from college, we’ll get closer over time. Don’t be surprised if we say something a little inappropriate.
6. Giving You Too Much Personal Information:
Sometimes, you might get annoyed with how much we tell you about our current crush, our job, or our health problems. You should know that this is the time when we’re thinking about the future, things that you’ve probably experienced or talked to us about in the past. Remember when car rides got hectic with the cries for attention? It happens in adulthood, too. Only now, we want you to know how much you taught us.
7. Making You Feel Like You’re Being Replaced:
You talk to our friends differently than you talk to us. You might seem a bit nicer and less judgmental. We do the same thing with other parents, especially if we don’t live with them. You may not understand us like we need you to. So we go to other parents who can help us out. This does NOT mean that you are being replaced.